how to worry in one easy step

Maple has been a bit fussy for the past few days, and I was starting to worry if this was her real personality -- that maybe she was just on best behavior for the first week. But today she seems to have settled back into her quiet, sweet demeanor.

Today was her first visit to the doctor. She had to endure her second heel poke (to test for PKU and other diseases) and a very long wait at the doctor's office. Mama and Papa had to endure the single most incompetent doctor's office staff in the universe. The brainless receptionist tried to make me feel negligent because I didn't yet have an insurance card for Maple. Um, she is TEN DAYS OLD. Do most women give birth to the insurance card after the placenta or something?* No one gave me the memo.

Fortunately, Maple slept most of the time, and nursed when she wasn't sleeping. She is gaining weight and is healthy in general, although we found out she has a "click" in her hip and will have to have an ultrasound in a few weeks to see if her hip joint is forming correctly. The doctor scared the shit out of me by telling us that if she has a problem with her hip, she'll have to wear a brace for a year. Um, WHAT? Let's hope everything is fine. I will now be laying awake every night, imagining my Frankenbaby with her lower half in a portable traction unit.

Aside from worrying about Maple's orthopedic development, I am struggling a bit with the baby blues. Becoming a parent is a pretty big adjustment, and it can be lonely at times. I feel like there is this expectation to feel elated at every moment, which is unrealistic but still powerful. I mean, as modern women, we're supposed to be completely happy all the time, only gain 15 pounds and lose it immediately upon delivery, and return to work soon after the baby is born while simultaneously staying home to care for them. The expectations are just stupid.

Fortunately, Sean is home with me this week so we're having fun taking Maple around town with us. Today we took her for her first ride in Papa's truck, which was a lot of fun. She really seemed to like the vibrations of the truck -- she was out like a light in just a few minutes.

My friends Suzanne and Emma came over today, bringing food and a bunch of beautiful irises. It was great visiting with them and watching them "ooh" and "aah" over Maple. I found out that Suzanne's sister lost her twins at 8 weeks, which is really heartbreaking. I can't believe that it was so easy for me to get pregnant, and I was never that focused on having kids. And then there are women who spend their entire lives wanting kids and can't have them. I hope Suzanne's sister is able to recover from this. I can't imagine what it must be like.

Yesterday I visited my friend Grace. We met in our homebirth class and I knew I would really like her because she always had a cool purse. Yes, these are the standards by which I judge my fellow humans. (Is it any wonder I have no friends?) Anyway I just adore Grace. She let me sit on her couch and pretend to know everything about babies. I was the expert, let me tell you! Grace is a couple of days overdue with her baby, and I really hope she goes into labor soon. I can't wait to hang out with her and our two little ones. I think we have pretty similar styles and values and it will be fun to share notes on parenting.

We are still receiving so many sweet presents from friends and family. The mailman is starting to resent pulling up to our house because he always has to get out and bring packages to the door. We have so many cute baby clothes now, it's amazing. We are going to need to buy Maple another dresser! So if you were thinking about sending baby clothes, please send Prozac instead. Cause if mama ain't happy...

* Thanks to Sean for the joke and the corresponding audio/visual "birthing the insurance card" skit.