five years with multiple sclerosis

Five years ago I went to the ER. Like today, I felt sick, but it wasn't just a cold. I couldn't walk very well, and my right side was weak. Sean was with me, and a very sensitive ER doctor broke into tears and told me I either had multiple sclerosis or spinal meningitis. My first question was, "Which one of those do I want to have?" He said spinal meningitis. A few hours later, we learned it was MS. Bugger. We had no idea what MS was -- I think we both thought it was muscular dystrophy.

I'm sort of in shock that it's five years since I was diagnosed, and I'm still a walking, talking, obnoxious, negative person! Yay, I think? Ha. Well, at least I'm still walking and talking. And working on the rest.

When I think about it, I kind of can't believe that Sean stuck around. And willingly started a family with me. If you know Sean at all, you know that he's fiercely loyal, so it makes sense for him to stay, but would I have stayed with someone who got diagnosed with an incurable degenerative brain disease? We'd only been together a little over a year. I don't know if I could have stared down the barrel of this life and hung in there. Even if I didn't have MS, I can be kind of a pain in the ass. Anyway I'm so grateful and lucky that he stayed. He's the best friend and partner I could imagine. He is completely supportive and always challenges me to be a better person. He accepts negative feedback gracefully and apologizes a lot. I need him and he's always there.

And Maple, she didn't really have a choice in being born to a potentially disabled mama. She doesn't know much about MS except that I have a "disease" and I take shots a few times a week. And she puts up with me too, and does it gracefully, which take some talent. (She must have learned this from her dad).

Yesterday I ran two miles on the treadmill -- less than I usually run, but I have a cold and I'm a little bit tired. I usually run three miles, 3-4 times a week. I have almost no symptoms. I told someone at work last week that I had MS, and he was shocked. I guess people don't know, and that means I don't have to think about it too much either.

So here's to another five years of relatively symptom-free life with MS. Thank you to all of you who've supported me along the way, especially my parents and Hillary.

And I have one last thing to say: Sean and I will be running the Boston Marathon in 2010! I'm going to make us some T-shirts that say "FUCK MS!" to wear when we're running.