That's what makes it so funny

I'm sick. I've been out of work for almost two weeks, and as much as I'd like to write in detail about my illness, I think I would bore you to tears. Let's just say that I had some colds, and then the flu, and then some complications, and now I'm slowly getting better. There, now I sound sort of normal. If I'd written about the pain or the deafness or the strange brownish greenish fluid, you'd never have come back. Hee hee.

So instead of writing in detail about my illness (can you tell I'm just dying to do it? Can you? Can you?), I will tell you a great story about Maple.

Last week Maple came home with a homework assignment from school. Homework is rare in Kindergarten - I think she's had three assignments so far. It was a few days before her teacher's birthday, and the auxiliary teacher (Mrs. B) was planning to surprise the main teacher (Mrs. V) with a bunch of written compliments from all the kids. In Maple's class, they have a birthday tradition where each kid gives the birthday kid a sincere and heartfelt compliment. I think this is a nice way to replace the cupcake thing, which they don't do anymore because they don't want to have any candy or sweets in the school. Anyway, Maple was asked to write a compliment on an index card, which was then to be put into a red envelope. We talked about what she would write for a few days, but she couldn't think of what she wanted to say.

At this point I should back up and say that Maple's teacher kind of sucks. She's a first-year teacher, and we've seen lots of evidence to indicate that she doesn't handle the class well. Maple has told us a number of times that they missed going outside for recess because one boy couldn't behave. We also heard many reports of the same boy crying at his own desk while everyone else sat at tables in groups of four. And then one girl started harassing Maple, and it got a bit out of hand. Then Maple kept getting in trouble for various small infractions of Kindergarten law, and she'd miss five or ten minutes of recess. She started telling us she hated her teacher. I've talked to a few other parents who foam at the mouth when they talk about Mrs. V. And then, just after Christmas, we got a note that she was going to be out on maternity leave starting in April. It's one thing to be a not-very-good teacher, it's another thing to leave the class before the end of the year, when the kids are trying to get used to the routine of school.

So last Thursday was the day before the homework was due. Maple hemmed and hawed and finally said she knew what she wanted to write on the compliment card: "You're the best teacher I ever had." I tried to point out to Maple that she was in Kindergarten, therefore Mrs. V was the only teacher she'd ever had, and so maybe it wasn't the best compliment to give her. Maple looked right at me and with a totally straight face said, "Yeah but that's what makes it so funny!"

I love this kid.