the best husband

I have the best husband. Those of you who know Sean are probably going, "Huh?" It's true that he's unorthodox and doesn't fit in well in the theme park, but it's also true that I'm more of a misfit than I seem, and it turns out we are a stunningly great pair. Here are some of the ways in which Sean is a rocking good man.

Last week I was bitching a lot about how dark it was in our apartment. (This of course was before the no-bitching deal I agreed to). On Sunday morning, I woke up insisting that we had to go to Ikea to find a lamp. Sean sweetly reminded me that I am trying not to buy stupid disposable stuff, stuff that's made in China under questionable conditions and shipped halfway across the world, burning tons of fuel, only to be sold here for $19.99, which is nowhere near the real cost of those goods. Someone had to mine the metals (how are those miners treated? what is the environmental cost of that?), grow the cotton (with egregious amounts of pesticides that pollute the land, tended by workers who get cancer from them), assemble the light bulbs (with toxic gases and other materials), etc. I can't buy or eat (consume) anything anymore without thinking of things like that. So for the planet, for the people, I don't want a $20 Ikea lamp. But it was dark in the apartment and I was annoyed. Well-fed Portia who works under superb conditions and lives in complete comfort at all time, she was pissed because it was dark. Anyway Sean convinced me to stick to my guns and not buy a piece of junk. We looked at lighting for a long time on the internet, and it was all really expensive, and hardly anything we found was made locally anyway. So Sean went to the local hardware store the next day, and while I was sitting in my air conditioned office, he built us a respectable, radical lamp, made of things we already had in our house, and $21.71 worth of hardware (made in the USA), including the lightbulb. The lamp is 150W so it lights the whole room. I love it.

Reason #2 that I married the right guy (this time): He's the best hiking partner. Three weeks ago, we hiked an 11 mile section of the AT, starting at a teensy back road near the Vermont border, and ending at Rt 9 near Bennington. We had such a nice time. We brainstormed about the future, about how we want to get out of debt and be organic farmers who live off the grid. We talked about Maple, about parenting, about people we know. We appreciated the part of the world we were walking through, we appreciated the awesome beaver engineering, and we appreciated each other. It was so nice, and I remembered how nice it is to just be with Sean.

Sean is a great cook. Years ago he made up a Thai curry recipe, and he always says it's nothing much, but he's wrong. It's great, it's different, and it rings the comfort food bell more than anything else we eat. He makes delicious scones and the best pot pie ever. All vegan of course. When I met Sean, he was a self-described opportunivore; he ate whatever, whenever, however (though usually orally). He was always happy to eat my vegan cooking (I was vegetarian when we met, with strong vegan tendencies, since I'd been vegan for years before that). And then last year, when I freaked out for the 8 millionth time that I needed to be vegan because I felt better, because I wanted Maple to grow up vegan, because I was concerned about the effects of non-vegan food on my MS, because I hated the politics of dairy and eggs, he encouraged me and even agreed to go vegan with me. Over a year later, we've stayed vegan, and we help each other out when we feel like bouncing off the wagon. Maple eats stuff other 3-year-olds won't look at, and she's healthy as a horse. (They're vegan too).

Sean is thoughtful. The most thoughtful person I've ever met. I know that sounds like hyperbole, but it's true. He gets up and makes me tea in the morning when he knows I'd rather sleep in. He does most of the housework. He helps me hold onto my values even when it's inconvenient. He rubs my feet. He surprises me with my favorite treats. He carries all the heavy stuff and he drives the car most of the time because he knows I have weak arms and the Massholes make me crazy. When I get fatigued, he does extra Maple duty so I can rest.

By far the best part about being with Sean is that he's completely true to who he is. If he disagrees with me, he tells me. If he thinks I'm full of shit (which I am about half the time, maybe more), he tells me. He says what he thinks, when he thinks it, to me and anyone else around. When he's wrong, he admits it. When he's right, he stands by what he said or did. He's never phony. He inspires me to be true to myself. I'm starting to figure out after almost seven years with him that he accepts me and loves me. Imagine that. I feel like at this point I'm supposed to say, "Sure, Sean has his flaws, as we all do." But I don't feel like pointing out his flaws, for once. There is far more good in Sean than there is folly or foible, and I know I'm lucky that I found him and that he is still here.